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Things That Matter.

Life is too short to pay heed to unnecessary things. Think about what really matters.

I broke my own heart 

It’s not your fault. It never was. 

I was the one who handed you my heart without you even asking for it. I was the one who put a flame to every word you said and then thought about them for a little too long. I was the one giving myself false hopes and looking for something more. 

Even though your words and actions were telling me a different story, you wanted a different one. It wasn’t your fault. 

I just broke my own heart. 

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Silly little boy 

It’s not your fault. He’s just a silly little boy who’s too scared to give his heart away. He wants you and he doesn’t even know it yet. 

Give it some time. He’ll find his way towards you. You know it in your heart. 

If he doesn’t, forgive him. Forgive him for being too scared. Forgive him for all the times that he made you feel special and gave you hope. Forgive him for being confused. 

He’s just a silly little boy after all. Don’t fall in love with him. 

Unspoken

One of the saddest thing I’ve come to find about people is that their most important thoughts and feelings often go unspoken and barely understood. 

We never end up saying what we really want to. We keep waiting for the perfect moment or just one sign which never comes. We’re just too afraid to let it all out. 

And when we do, when we do find that glimmer of hope and courage and let it out, we find that it’s never really understood and then, we become too afraid to ever try again. We let it eat us up instead. 

It’s all just a tragedy. So many words, so many thoughts, so many feelings – all unspoken and barely understood.

You knew. (2) 

You knew. You knew my heart was broken. 

You still broke down my walls. I let you in. You called me ‘baby’ and I gave you what was left of my heart. I put a flame to every single word you said. I made scenarios in my head which deep down I knew would never happen.

Because deep down, I knew too. I knew that your words meant nothing. I knew that it was too good to be true. I knew that there was no deeper meaning. I still fooled myself. I believed in something that was never there. 

I gave you my heart and you didn’t want it. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I was just a stupid little girl who was looking for something to believe in. I was just a stupid little girl who wanted to be loved.  

Just a little more human. 

Just because you want someone to hold you once in a while doesn’t mean you’re weak. Just because you crave affection doesn’t mean you’re not strong enough. 

You’re stronger than you’ve ever been and you’re happier than you were before. 

It’s okay if sometimes, you just want to let go and let someone else take care of you. It’s okay if you just want someone to hold your hand. It doesn’t make you weak, just a little more human. 

You knew. 

You knew. You knew my heart was already broken. You knew what I was going through. I told you all of it.

 But what did you do?

You pretended to care. You pretended to care about me and my broken heart. You made me trust you. You made me believe in you. For a second, you made me think that the world was a better place. For a second, you made me feel that I was worth loving. 

But then what did you do?

You shattered my already broken heart.

It’s all lies, darling. 

It’s all lies, darling. Don’t fall for it. Don’t give your heart away so easily.

He might be flirting with you and calling you baby, he might be making you smile and holding your hand. Don’t fall for it. Not this time. Not again. 

You know better now. People don’t always mean what they say and things don’t always turn out the way we want them to. So hold yourself back. Be a little cautious this time. Don’t believe every word he says. Don’t look for signs that aren’t there. 

It’s all lies, darling. Don’t fall for it. 

Crush. 

It feels like I’m back in 6th grade. Your hand brushes against mine and it gives me butterflies. You look at me from a across a room and I blush. 

Your presence makes me smile. You make me happy without doing anything at all. You make me smile like an idiot. You make me want to be next to you all the time. 

You’ve got me craving for something more. Something real. 

Is it infatuation? Is it a crush? Is it love? Who knows? 

Contradictions.

I think it’s love but it might not be. I want you to stay close but at the same time, I want you to leave me alone. I want you but then, I don’t.

If only you could understand that my mind is interlocked in contradictions and I do not know what I want anymore. If only you could understand that my mouth doesn’t say what it wants to and my heart doesn’t do what’s good for it. 

It might be love. But then again, it might not be. 

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