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Things That Matter.

Life is too short to pay heed to unnecessary things. Think about what really matters.

Crush. 

It feels like I’m back in 6th grade. Your hand brushes against mine and it gives me butterflies. You look at me from a across a room and I blush. 

Your presence makes me smile. You make me happy without doing anything at all. You make me smile like an idiot. You make me want to be next to you all the time. 

You’ve got me craving for something more. Something real. 

Is it infatuation? Is it a crush? Is it love? Who knows? 

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Contradictions.

I think it’s love but it might not be. I want you to stay close but at the same time, I want you to leave me alone. I want you but then, I don’t.

If only you could understand that my mind is interlocked in contradictions and I do not know what I want anymore. If only you could understand that my mouth doesn’t say what it wants to and my heart doesn’t do what’s good for it. 

It might be love. But then again, it might not be. 

Numb. 

She wasn’t sad. Just numb. 

It’s not that she could not sense his love. She just didn’t know what to do with it. And it’s not that she did not want to love, she just didn’t know how to anymore. 

Because the truth is, after a while, you just stop feeling anything at all. After you’ve given so much of yourself away to people who didn’t deserve it, you’re not left with anything to give.  You don’t know what to feel anymore. All you feel is nothing. 

He wasn’t you

He was perfect in every aspect. He was what I had wished for. He was everything that I was looking for but somehow, it didn’t seem to be enough. 

I was looking for something else. I was looking for something more. I was looking for you. He was perfect. He only had one flaw. He wasn’t you. 

I wish I could stop. I wish I could stop looking for you in every person I meet. I wish I could stop searching for your face in crowded streets. I wish I could let you go. I wish he was you. 

Give me a sign. 

Honestly, it’s a little scary right now. There is so much uncertainty. But somehow, you make me believe. 

You make me believe in a better future. You make me believe in a brighter tomorrow. You make me believe in us. In me. 

I don’t need you. But somehow, I find myself wanting you. 

Just give me a sign. Give me a sign that you’re worth it. Give me a sign that you won’t be like the rest. Give me a reason to believe. 

Believe

It’s a new day. It’s a new morning. It’s a new beginning. 

Today, you have the strength to start over. Today, you have the ability to mould your life into whatever you want it to be. Today, you’re stronger than yesterday. 

So let go of what’s holding you back. Let go of the negativity. Let go of the doubt and the fear and just believe. 
Believe in yourself. Believe in the universe. Start over. 

Weakness and strength

You’re my weakness and my strength. 

Everytime you look at me, every time you tell me you love me and every time you touch me – you make me weak. You make me vulnerable. You’re my vulnerability. 

But then, you make me want to be a better person. You make me want to be better for myself and better for you. You trust me more than I trust myself and in this, you give me strength. 

I do not know if you’re  a blessing or a curse but I do know that no matter what you are, I need you and I’m grateful for your existence.
 

New love 

That’s the thing about a new love. It makes you want to believe again. It makes you want to hope again. It make you want to live again.

It comes to you when you thought there was nowhere to go. It comes to you when you’ve stopped looking. It comes to you when you’re least expecting it. It comes to you and it changes your life. 

You learn how to love again. You learn how to be happy again. And the most important thing of all, you learn how to love yourself again. You learn how to begin again. 

5 a.m.

It’s almost 5 am. While I should be sleeping, I lay here thinking about you. Thinking about all the things you say and all the things I want you to say. 

The thing is, I can’t stop. Even though you’re a hundred miles away, you’re the only thing on my mind. 

I wish you were here. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish you were mine. I wish I could stop thinking about you. 

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